Being A Caregiver

Being a caregiver is often a 24/7/365 job! This task is often relegated to the person in the family who is the most giving and caring. But sometimes it is done by the only person who is available; such as the spouse or a grown child who may have other family obligations. The person responsible for this caregiving role may not be adequately equipped to handle all of the problems that can arise. They may lack the knowledge of important health related issues. And the person may have difficulty being a constant emotional support to someone else.

Finding resources and other people to help, is important for the caregiver who feels like they are struggling by themself to support a loved one.

When there is uncertainty regarding shared responsibilities in the family, it can be a very stressful time for the caregiver and it can also take its toll on the person receiving the care. It is important that the caregiver be aware of these emotional issues and look for help and solutions from others. The caregiver should be willing to acknowledge this difficulty to family or friends, as it is no disgrace to reach out to others. For example, they may be able to have another family member or friend help a few hours each day, which will allow them some time away from their responsibilities. FYI: Some local and state agencies can provide caregiver relief for a few hours a week, by providing a ‘house sitter’ to stay with the resident, at no charge to the family.

A visit by family and friends is always a welcome sight to someone who has recently gone into a nursing home!

When the caregiver is a grown child who may have family or work obligations during the day, there are options available for providing care for the older person. These are the 'adult day care' centers, which are available in most cities across the country. There is usually a fee involved, and will vary with the facility and amount of services provided. These facilities provide socialization, group activities, and meals for seniors who can remain there for several hours each day. Many have nursing staff who can help dispense medications and check blood glucose levels, for those who are diabetic.

There are times when the person must go to a skilled nursing facility due to a decline in function, recent hospitalization or acute illness. It allows the caregiver time to rest and at the same time gives the older person an opportunity to gain strength and endurance by having therapy several times a week. If the person is to return home again, the caregiver can meet with an Occupational Therapist to find out what needs to be done in order to have the person return home safely and as independently as possible.

Caregiver checklist, can you identify with any of these?

• No matter what you do, it never seems like it is enough?

• You no longer have any time to be alone, for even a brief respite?

• Your relative’s condition is worsening despite your best efforts?

• Family relationships are breaking down because of the caregiving  pressure?

• You feel that you are the only person having to endure this situation?

• Your caregiving duties are interfering with your work or social life to an unacceptable degree?

• Your are going on in a no-win situation just to avoid admitting failure?

• You realize that you are alone in this role because you have shut out everyone else who has offered to help?

• You refuse to think of yourself, because that would be ‘selfish’?

• Your coping mechanisms have become destructive, you are overeating or undereating, abusing alcohol or drugs, or taking it out on your family or friends?

• There are no more happy times. Loving and caring have given way to exhaustion and resentment. You no longer feel good about yourself and what you are doing?

When Home Is No Longer An Option

There may come a time when an older person can no longer live at home, even when there is sufficient help from others. There are a variety of reasons why home may no longer be an option. This can include: declining health issues, decreased cognitive abilities, lack of safety, history of falling, the caregiver can no longer manage daily tasks, the home is too big and no longer appropriate, or a host of other reasons.

It can be a very difficult decision for someone to leave the place that has so many memories and emotional ties. This is not an easy decision to make for the person or the family, but there are options available for those who can afford them. There are three levels of senior care available, which clients and their family should know about when choosing alternative housing.

ILF:
Independent living facility. These are senior apartments usually arranged together as group apartments, although not necessarily under one roof. The apartment is furnished by the resident with their own items as desired. The ILF apartment is w/c accessible, no steps to navigate, and the bathroom has many safety and accessibility features. The person will need to be fairly independent but help is available for self care needs, for an extra charge. The person would be responsible for their own cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc, or pay extra to have someone help with these services. And they would still be responsible for health related issues; such as taking medications, making doctor’s appointments, etc. Social activities vary, depending on the facilities. There may be a community center for dining, gatherings, etc.

ALF:
Adult living facility. These are individual apartments located under one roof that provide an intermediate level of care. A nurse is available to help with medications and aides are available to assist with bathing, dressing, etc. There would be extra charges for some ancillary services provided, and these will vary with the facility. The apartment may have a small kitchen and the person can choose to eat in their room or in the group dining with others, as meals are usually provided. The ALF is structured for more socialization than an ILF would be; such as group dining, social gatherings for music, crafts, games, etc. The ALF will provide transportation for shopping, outings, doctor’s appointments, etc. An ALF tends to be more expensive than the ILF, but it is a nice option for those who can afford it. If there is a recent decline in health or function, some ALFs have a therapy department for the residents.

SNF:
Skilled nursing facility. The SNF is for those who need the highest level of care. Nursing is available 24 hours a day, as well as nursing aides to assist with whatever level of care the individual needs. A call light can summon help for any issue the resident may have. The basic SNF tend to look and feel more like a hospital, and there is often increased noise and less privacy for the resident at this level of care. The person may have to share a room with another resident unless they can afford a private room. The meals are highly structured and the person would eat at a specific time each day and the menu may not have much variety. There is group dining for those who can attend, or the person can eat in their room, if desired. The SNF provides a staff therapy department for residents who have declining health related issues. Occupational, Physical and Speech therapy are available if needed. The nicer SNF make an effort to provide quality furnishings and surroundings, have structured activities for residents at all cognitive levels, keep the noise level low, etc. There is a broad range of quality in the SNF available in most cities, and so it pays to do your homework and look at several before deciding.

Tips For Choosing A Nursing Home